I am flushed with pride over the success of my Lister CS6/1 powered Samuel Platt Blacksmiths hammer, it now seems logical to convert the rest of my machine tools to Lister C/S power.

I shall start by taking the Dean Smith and Grace lathe out of the shed, positioning it somewhere in the garden then removing the 20hp motor and powering it with a Lister C/S8/1 or maybe the twin cylinder version.

I am also going to remove the coolant pump and tank from the lathe and use old Lister CS sump oil as cutting fluid and coolant applied from an old oil can.

Do any of you know what would be the appropriate attire for the modern turner, sartorial elegance and health and safety being a major concern ?

Should I use these expensive new-fangled inserted carbide tips or old carbon steel planer tools?

You will all be kept informed of future developments.

Johnny

What about going to a local old codgers home and getting some of their toenail clippings,

They are probably harder and tougher than carbide !

Is anyone there............................................. ..............

Best make sure they've not been eaten by a scopium, sounds like summat you'd want to avoid in a dark alley.

One DVD later - now it all makes sense!

Cheers Carl.

I was ushered into a fellow Somerset engine owners shed last weekend to view a simply splendid Lister engine which was the 4 cylinder version of the CS6/1. It was done with great secrecy in order to shroud this perverted fascination with Diesel engines, but nevertheless well worth the risk.

I came to the conclusion that this engine was definitely alright and would make the perfect power plant for the Scopium Trawler. Indeed, I think it would produce enough power when paired with a David Brown gearbox, minus the spanners of course, for one of the crew to be able to ski behind the trawler to entice the Scopium to the surface ( geo, do you know anyone suitable?). In the meantime Hercules9068 and I could butter bread for the kangaroo in the galley whilst someone steered our intrepid way singing 'Any old Iron'.

Carl, you would be welcome to join us to keep control over the monkeys, and 00000, we'll need you for pipework, I think Hercules9068 bidet idea may be a challenge.

If any prospective crew members would like to see the prototype of the semi- submersible that we are to construct click here,
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDBqe5PHmUU

Obviously this is of welded construction not riveted and less than nine tons in weight, we will be adding hatchways and trawling tackle for catching the Sea Scopium.

For entertainment on our long voyages we will have a harmonium rigged to an auxiliary compressor driven by the Lister CS powerplant. We were considering a television in the mess but the one we have made was too dangerous, it would kill you if you were in the same room !

Mr Beeching is to be Captain, Mr Gunn deckhand and trawl operator, Mr Green ships blacksmith Jim will be in charge of the ballast tanks and I will be stoker. As we are all semi literate we will need a crew member who is educated and can navigate, Would you like to join our expedition Mr. Byrne?

Hi John - most definitely!
Cheers Carl.

I'm so glad you put a comma after monkeys.

On second thoughts Mr Gunn should be given the rank of cabin boy, he can spend his time in the bilges looking for the golden rivet.